Next week is my deadline for starting to try to find work so I have some decisions to make this week. Don't wanna.
Do I look for a job or stay self employed? Or just starve to death given that the effect of the past few years is to leave me feeling too scared, lacking in confidence and useless to either apply for jobs or look for freelance work.
Do I stay here or move back to London? If I do stay freelance, I don't think I can stay here because there just doesn't seem to be any work (available to me at least). And it's not like I've really got any kind of a social life or fit in at all up here. In fact it's got to the point where I feel so excluded I don't want to be here any more. But then with London, there's the whole expense thing, the paying for prescriptions thing, the Tube thing, the too many bloody people thing.
I don't feel excited or optimistic or driven or anything. I just want to go to bed and never get up again.