Lunatic fringe pt 2

On top of the catastrophic loss of self confidence about my abilities and misery about being single, I utterly hate the way I look at present and a lot of it has to do with that wretched fringe, which I only got because of the cliched desire to change my hair after being dumped (as if I didn't feel bad enough). If it weren't for the fact that the only attractive (to men) thing about me appears to be my hair, I'd go and get a peroxide crop. This photo may explain a lot. Note also the double chin, huge conk, jowls, gut and general encroaching aging. This was taken in late May, rather sooner after the operation than was sensible in retrospect and shortly before I had a complete breakdown, for which that fringe may be partly to blame. The monkey quite rightly looks very unimpressed.

Straight out waste of money

My problems with my fringe continue to upset and offend so I thought I'd give this a try. As you can see, it comes in a box so I did not read the teeny tiny print on the back of the bottle before purchasing. If I had, I would have found out one thing and failed to find out a second. The thing you are told is that to keep your hair straight for three days as promised by this product, you have to use flat irons every day. Not every third day, Every day. If I want to do that, I don't need this product do I? The thing you aren't told is that it doesn't work without also using serum. Without serum it keeps hair straight about 30 minutes maximum. And if I use serum, I don't need this product, do I? And with serum and straighteners, you get about 3 hours of straightness out of it. Pointless waste of money.

Recommend or do not recommend? Do not recommend.

Lunatic fringe

Now I have a fringe, I'm having to think about things I have not previously considered. I've bought straighteners and multiple strange hairbrushes, which hurt. I've moved from slapping a bit of conditioner on, combing and forgetting about my hair to having to use product. Which hurts. For reasons that may become apparent if I get round to uploading the pictures, I have quite a lot of different products hanging around at present (although no serum or heat protector or hairspray so I still had to cough up for those. Which hurt). It's all intensely irritating, especially as people have either not commented about the fringe or told me that I look tired.

However, I can't just leave it because it looks appalling au naturale - curly, frizzy and sticky outy. I was going to post a picture of Grayson Perry at this point but a quick look at Google Images shows that he has his fringe under far better control than I do.

So here are the products I've tried so far with the straighteners:

• Paul Mitchell leave in conditioner (my previous defrizzing and curl enhancing standby): rubbish. No straightening power at all.
• Moroccan Oil (apparently what the salon used): as used by the hairdresser kept my fringe straight for 3 days (no rain). As used by me (immediate rain) kept my fringe straight for about 5 minutes.
• Ojon Conditioning Finishing Paste, plus Kiehl's Creme with Silk Groom: one day so far (immediate rain). However my hair looks lanky and sticky and about 3 shades darker.

Further product reports to come as I try them out.

The straighteners by the way are Remington and cost £18 from TKMaxx. They have ceramic plates and look no different to the expensive sort you see for sale in salons.