Saturday, 4 February 2012

Things I don't understand

1) Why Edinburgh can't do rain without simultaneously doing howling wind. Within 5 minutes of leaving the flat this morning I'd broken yet another umbrella. This made my subsequent mistake in getting the wrong bus and ending up about half a mile from where I wanted to be that much worse.

2) What it is about my face that even when my inner monologue is full of apocalyptic rage and I am clearly in a hurry, it looks like I would be happy to stop in a torrential gale without an umbrella to discuss Jesus. I really don't get it - I attract these people like flies. Even assuming that my exterior does speak of an inner misery that only an acquired belief in an imaginary ceiling cat could assuage, why would you stop me in this weather? And I hope that's something that young Elder Bland had time to consider after the police had removed me from his throat.

While I really don't care what any given individual believes in as long as they keep it to themselves and don't either talk about it to the rest of us or slaughter people because of it, this only serves to reinforce my suspicion that hell, should it exist, will be full of the overtly religious.


  1. Yes, why do religious people feel the need to convert you? We don't go around collaring people at bus stops raving about Darwin and natural selection, do we?
    By the way, have you seen this?

  2. Well, I suppose there was that bus poster campaign, which was ill advised in my view.

    My face though. I cannot believe that I look anything other than sour and rage filled these days. So why would anyone talk to me unless they are doing this proselytising thing as some form of penance? Chuggers too. I'm a chugger magnet. I just do not get it.

  3. Sounds to me as if you don't look sour and rage-filled enough.

    Just how feeble a god do these people believe in, that they feel he can't achieve his works without the help of charmless ambush peddlers?