Some of you may remember a while back my description of the unedifying spectacle of me throwing a major tantrum in front of the daughter of Alexander McCall Smith when she told me that I had elevated cholesterol and had to eat less cheese.
Grudgingly I complied and cut back cheese, butter, full fat yogurt, steak and other such delights and instead ate oily fish (blech) and vegetables (double blech). I also, as predicted, deprived of my stock weight control and comfort eating methods of eating a high fat, low carb diet, started mainlining sugar and other carbs and as a result have piled on a huge amount of weight.
I was therefore hoping that when I finally got round to repeat cholesterol test the results would be even worse and I could reinforce my new agish prejudice that sugar is the problem and fat is unjustly maligned and head back to the cheese and dripping with a cry of 'told you so'.
Tragically, my results are much improved, even though I'm nearly a stone heavier than 6 months ago.
Even more tragically, they are not so much improved that I am allowed go back to serious cheese eating.
Arse*.
*And an ever expanding one at that.
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