Test your knowledge

I got 21/25. How well can you do?

Insurance companies are evil

Pretty much every single idea I've had over the past few years to raise a bit of money turns out to either invalidate my household insurance or make it so expensive that the idea stops being worth bothering with. I feel completely defeated by life at present.

If you substitute me for English guy, this reminds me strongly of my marriage

Massage

One of the worst things about the current situation is that nothing is enjoyable. I coughed up a small fortune on a massage last week in the hope that it might perk me up but nope. Even that monkey had a better time than I did. 

When are these damned tablets going to start working?

Schadenfurde

Schadenfurde - the experience of sinking in relief onto the sofa after cleaning up cat vomit and realising that you missed the most important bit and now have a large furball stuck to the back of your neck.

Attention cat owners

Making sure that all your soft furnishings are the same colour as cat vomit will save you precious minutes worrying about unsuccessful stain removal in the future.

Mustard is the new black.

Today's blog post was supposed to be about how I had finally finished my dissertation

Except I've just been told I haven't. There's another round of revisions to do and a further round to come next week. I suspect I may never finish.

50 shades of green

I am filled with bitter, seething envy.

This explains it

Sometimes reading about someone else's issues helps to crystallise one's own. This really resonated.

I still feel dreadful about losing the magazine work in 2008. I feel dreadful about the coaching being a failure. I feel dreadful about the book being a failure. I feel especially dreadful about the book. Now I feel dreadful about the MSc being a waste of time and money and another failure.

I can't think of anything I'm good at and nothing interests me any more. I'm supposed to be job hunting but I can't even manage a conversation about nothing with people I know. Interviews seem inconceivable, always assuming I even get that far. There's only one small thing I can think of that I'm proud of that I've achieved in the last 5 years. I'm useless.

Straight out waste of money

My problems with my fringe continue to upset and offend so I thought I'd give this a try. As you can see, it comes in a box so I did not read the teeny tiny print on the back of the bottle before purchasing. If I had, I would have found out one thing and failed to find out a second. The thing you are told is that to keep your hair straight for three days as promised by this product, you have to use flat irons every day. Not every third day, Every day. If I want to do that, I don't need this product do I? The thing you aren't told is that it doesn't work without also using serum. Without serum it keeps hair straight about 30 minutes maximum. And if I use serum, I don't need this product, do I? And with serum and straighteners, you get about 3 hours of straightness out of it. Pointless waste of money.

Recommend or do not recommend? Do not recommend.

Better?

If the pills don't start working before I run out of monkeys*, we're in trouble.

*I have about two weeks worth of monkeys left.

Have another monkey

Win money

If, unlike me, you have 15 friends and a social life, you should enter this as apparently the number of entries is currently very low so your odds are good.

It's open to anyone not residing in the Axis of Evil so you don't need to be in the US. Mind you, where you could spend the prize these days I'm none too sure.

Horoscopes - more fun after the fact

Here's what apparently happened:
>No matter when your birthday falls, you will find this to be a month filled with communication, quick travel, new people, fresh starts, new offers, and lots of stimulation. You may start a new venture, and if so, you may have meetings to get your venture in the pipeline.

Here's what I remember happening:
I spent nearly the entire month housebound and sleeping 14-16 hours a day and had 3 conversations in total.