I'm repulsive and I just don't care*

It would appear that I'm 90% repulsive as I tick the box for 9 out of the 10 top turn offs for men (according to the Daily Mail).

TOP TEN TURN OFFS FOR MEN

1. Hairy upper lip
2. Dirty sheets
3. Hairy legs
4. Untidy nails
5. Body hair
6. Ungroomed pubic hair
7. Messy hair
8. Bad outfit
9. Ugly footwear
10. Lack of perfume

Nobody could ever accuse me of a lack of perfume but it seems to me that a lot of these come down to a) being human and b) having a life. The sheets, I should emphasise, are courtesy of Trilogy Rosehip Facial oil, which while doing wonders for the complexion, dyes sheets and pillowcases a shade of yellow that resists every stain remover I've tried.

As for the female equivalent:

TOP TEN TURN OFFS FOR WOMEN

1. Dirty sheets
2. Untidy nails
3. Untidy room
4. Unshaved face
5. Bad outfit
6. Ugly footwear
7. Lack of perfume
8. Hairy upper lip
9. Ungroomed pubic hair
10. Ugly underwear

the only one that bothers me is the dirty sheets (unless of course he uses Trilogy Rosehip oil too). Where's (in no particular order) bad breath, smelly feet, racist attitudes, homophobia, misogyny, annoying voice, being boring, talking about football and weighing less than me in there?

*Actually I do care because actually I find being repulsive quite upsetting but not enough to do anything about most of the things listed there and more so in that such shallow things matter more than being good company. Bad smells however are beyond the pale, in man, woman or animal.

Lassitude

When the cat starts making biscuits (kneading) on your face and you still can't be bothered to move. It got a bit hairy when she caught a claw in my earring though.

It's like microdermy for cheapskates but with added cat poo particulates.