Hot air

I've been known to boast on a number of occasions that I have seen the Northern Lights from my spare bedroom window. I'm moving shortly and have picked a new place to still have a view north for this very reason.

Turns out it's Grangemouth Oil Refinery flaring off.

Doing it wrong

Spot an attractive gentleman at Krav Maga class. Get chatting. Promise to see each other at class next week. Decide I would be more alluring a few pounds thinner. Go on diet. As result of diet by following week feel so faint and ill that I have to miss Krav Maga class.

Learn from me. I'm the master.

There must be a name for this

Does anyone know what the following example is an illustration of, other than stupidity?

It was (still is) lunchtime. I thought about what to cook. There isn't much in the fridge so initially I thought of boiled eggs. I ruled this out on the basis that it wasn't filling enough (supper will be late), considered a few more options and settled definitively on ravioli, which is about to go off so needs eating today. I then walked to the kitchen and boiled the eggs*.

I do this a lot. It's as if the brain does not register negatives - I will not eat boiled eggs, turns into I will eat boiled eggs. Is this a *thing* or am I just heading for early dementia (like my mother)?

*and am still hungry as a result

Also wrong

Seen in my local sweet store - a notice reading, "Sale of vintage items."

Sweetie, if you are selling edible items, they are not vintage, they are out of date, off, stale or even rancid.

HTH.

Meanwhile somewhere on the internets

One of the things I like best about the internet is that however bad you might feel about yourself, it only takes a few clicks to find someone very much less fortunate.

Click to embiggen.

All you need to know about me in one sentence

I just cut my tongue licking the food processor blade.